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Few weeks ago, another great supermarket opened nearby. I wanted to buy some melon and coffee, so I got in just to check it out and do shopping. After almost an hour, I got out with a 50 euro bill and an hour of my life that I can never get back. Like a time jump. Snap. It just went away, 60 minutes flew away. Poof! I almost had a Twilight zone moment because I was sure that I had been there for 15 minutes tops. My parking reminder buzzed me that something in there was very wrong.

So you think you know what you like? Hm. Think twice.
The real nightmare of a marketing department starts the moment when the campaign is ready to set off. Before the launch, experienced and not so brave marketing gurus turn to conventional methods of gathering people’s opinions about the prepared campaign. Will they love it? Will they buy more beer if we sweat that glass off and make that girls cleevage sexier? Will they hate it? The questions are endless.
Some companies do a brief survey, some of them just sit around for hours and discuss the possible opinions and others turn to focus groups. Aha! Focus group, that is a great idea! (?) Let’s hear it from our future customers, let’s see what they say about it!

Day after day, I am more confident that Apple has no idea how they do it. I bet 100€ that if you asked Stevie how the hell he makes it, he would give you some bull*** speech of motivation, hard work, and other mumbo jumbo obvious life  facts- the kind he gave on Stanford and everyone applauded and cried like they’ve heard for the first time in their lives that persistence is the key to success. Come on, get real, HOW THE HELL YOU GOT POPE TO USE IPAD MR.JOBS?!

Since my 7 years old notebook decided not to cooperate with me anymore, using the meanest methods like turning off without saving the auto recovery file, I decided to terminate my loyalty to Fujitsu Siemens and try out Mr. Jobs’ Apple. I went to the online yellow pages store and found a great offer for used iPad. I dialed the number and the conversation went something like this:

Few years ago, in some late hours up in the mountain, with few bottles of great wine and in the company of some extraordinary people that you have rare opportunity in life to meet, I found myself in a discussion about one interesting topic: mind control. Is it real or is it just a myth, who does it and why, is it legal and more importantly moral, what purpose does it serve and how the hell do they do it?! One particular name was mentioned more than everybody else’s: the name of Mr. Derren Brown.

Drugstore, noon, wonderful neat and tidy atmosphere, lovely and recognizable smell of some mysterious aroma, quiet music and tons of women searching for cosmetic products that will make their hair prettier, their skin younger and tanned, their legs slimmer and breasts bigger. Me- searching for a toothbrush.  One glance at overstuffed shell with more than 50 different toothbrushes, my cell rings, I pick it up and start talking. Few minutes later, I realize that I am at the counter, paying for toothbrush that I picked while talking on the phone, I rush out and head home.

Let’s do a quick quiz:
What computer Carry Bradshaw uses to write her column?
What shoes is she obsessed with?
What car James Bond drives in Casino Royal?
What car Mulder and Scully drive in X files?
What store chain sales are Will, Grace, Jack and Karen and all Manhattan characters are obsessed with?

Many marketing courses and books are in focus of purchasing habits: how, when and why do people buy certain products and not others.  Some would settle down for a “brand lovemark” answer: people buy certain brands because they have trust in them, they buy some of the lifestyle that the brand is selling, some promise a better life, better looks, better health, better social status. Others say that consumers have a certain pattern in their decision making process and that consumers will buy whatever promises them better life. True. We all buy to raise our Quality of Life. That is the only reason.

Couple of days ago, I went to a large store to buy some groceries and other home stuff with my mom. We had a shopping list and I was hoping to finish the retail saga in about 15 minutes, but then, we stopped to buy aluminum foil for food storing. The shelf with aluminum foils had about 20 different products, about 5 different brands:  they were all the same, except that they had different length of foil roll and different price. It’s easy to find the cheapest, but hey, guess what, the cheapest is the shortest roll.  “This one is too short, it will go out in a week”, said my mom. Ok, take the longer one-right? There are 5 different brands of longer one, with significant difference in price. “This one?”, I took the cheapest 20m roll. “No, look, for a few bucks more, we can get 30 m roll”, my mom said. I took that one and put it in a cart. Just when I thought we’ve completed the mission of buying such a trivial thing, I saw cheaper 30m roll. I switched it and pushed the cart on, but hey, imagine that, for just a few bucks more, there was 40m foil. We lost patience, and we just took the last foil on the shelf. It was the longest and I think the most expensive one.  Product placement tip: just put your foil at the end of the shelf and your sales will rise just for the sake of shortage in human patience.