Neuromarketing

Yesterday evening, I stopped at a local shop to buy some stuff and I was standing in the queue for the cash register. Two teen girls were in front of me, buying some energy drinks, listening some strange music on their smartphones, singing out loud and sighing “Gee, what a pain in the ass, this queue is so slow, lady can you hurry up?!”, they shouted at the lady working at the register. I rolled my eyes and turned around. A guy behind me, about 30 years old shouted at them “Hey chicks, behave yourselves or you can leave the shop”. They turned around blinking and playing with their hair, almost killed him with their eyes .

If you are by any coincidence born around 1983, we are the same age and we can try a little experiment:
Remember the time when we were in the 3rd grade of elementary school. That puts us in year 1993. Try to remember the things that you asked your mother or father to buy you because you really wanted it. Does maybe a thing like this come up in your memory?

Few weeks ago, another great supermarket opened nearby. I wanted to buy some melon and coffee, so I got in just to check it out and do shopping. After almost an hour, I got out with a 50 euro bill and an hour of my life that I can never get back. Like a time jump. Snap. It just went away, 60 minutes flew away. Poof! I almost had a Twilight zone moment because I was sure that I had been there for 15 minutes tops. My parking reminder buzzed me that something in there was very wrong.

So you think you know what you like? Hm. Think twice.
The real nightmare of a marketing department starts the moment when the campaign is ready to set off. Before the launch, experienced and not so brave marketing gurus turn to conventional methods of gathering people’s opinions about the prepared campaign. Will they love it? Will they buy more beer if we sweat that glass off and make that girls cleevage sexier? Will they hate it? The questions are endless.
Some companies do a brief survey, some of them just sit around for hours and discuss the possible opinions and others turn to focus groups. Aha! Focus group, that is a great idea! (?) Let’s hear it from our future customers, let’s see what they say about it!

Day after day, I am more confident that Apple has no idea how they do it. I bet 100€ that if you asked Stevie how the hell he makes it, he would give you some bull*** speech of motivation, hard work, and other mumbo jumbo obvious life  facts- the kind he gave on Stanford and everyone applauded and cried like they’ve heard for the first time in their lives that persistence is the key to success. Come on, get real, HOW THE HELL YOU GOT POPE TO USE IPAD MR.JOBS?!

Since my 7 years old notebook decided not to cooperate with me anymore, using the meanest methods like turning off without saving the auto recovery file, I decided to terminate my loyalty to Fujitsu Siemens and try out Mr. Jobs’ Apple. I went to the online yellow pages store and found a great offer for used iPad. I dialed the number and the conversation went something like this: